A Glance Back. A Hopeful Look Forward.
By Rebecca Denny, Program and Engagement Intern at LookUp
As I sit here with the thought of graduation looming over me, over a year later reflecting on my time spent in this dystopian and mundane pandemic world we were all forced into, I can’t help but acknowledge how fortunate I feel to have found a community such as LookUp. For many across the globe, this past year has held some of the most tumultuous times and was filled with days of loss, confusion, and loneliness. I think back to those first few uncertain months of COVID, sitting in my childhood bedroom, living in a dreary world, so foolish in anticipating that life would be back to normal in just a short few weeks. Weeks turned into months and months soon turned into a year of pure and utter chaos in every possible sense. Similarly to many others struggling to occupy these days, my life turned into hours of endless computer time. If I wasn’t in class over Zoom I was on my phone scrolling mindlessly, feeling deep emotions of isolation, sadness, grief of losing my junior year of college, and grief of losing loved ones. That, matched with the inability to receive any form of human connection and love outside of my immediate household, created a very drab life. In the blink of an eye, life as we knew it was turned upside down and forced me, along with many others, to sit uncomfortably with ourselves for far too long. In some ways this was very beneficial for our health, but for others, it gave us way too much time to be stuck in our own minds.
I recognize how fortunate I was to have a home to quarantine in, a family to be surrounded by, an adorable golden retriever to cuddle with when I needed some extra love, and most importantly my health. But, still, even with every ounce of optimism I tried to fill my thoughts with, I felt consumed by a feeling of emptiness.
It was during this time that I was enrolled in a course at Chapman University called “Social Media and Contemporary Society.” In this course, I studied the psychological and physical effects of social media and started to truly understand what that feeling of emptiness was partially stemming from. I always claimed to understand the toll social media had on my day-to-day life, but as a direct result of this individualistic culture I grew up in, I always stopped at just that: me. I didn’t understand the extent to which social media was not only controlling MY life as a tiny individual amongst billions of others, but the toll it takes on everyone, the polarization it fuels within our country, and the true epidemic of mental health issues our phones cultivate.
I was introduced to Susan Reynolds and Julie O’Brien through this course and ultimately brought into the LookUp community as a Digital Marketing Intern. When I began working for LookUp, I began pondering the question of how our phones came to be and what they have become. Ultimately, they were meant to connect us on a whole other level. And, in some ways, they have done just that—especially living through a pandemic. For the past year, especially at the peak of quarantine, the only option to see loved ones, relatives, significant others, etc. was through a screen. FaceTime, Zoom, and texting have become our main channels of communication. However, as beautiful as our devices can be, they can be equally as destructive. I began realizing how detrimental to my health my phone truly was for me, especially during a time where it felt like my phone was my only way to attain social stimulation.
As I conducted more research into this realm, I started to understand the ways our brains work while spending time on our phones. We receive a dopamine release, very similar to the feeling you get when drinking, smoking, or gambling, that makes us want to go back for more.
But, drinking, smoking, and gambling all have age restrictions on them and are heavily regulated by the government. Contrastingly, our phones have no real limitations.
This issue has most commonly been overlooked and brushed off as being miniscule in the grand scheme of things, but we have seen that this is not the case, especially within the past year. As seen in The Social Dilemma, our society’s noxious addiction to our technology is a bigger phenomenon than huge corporations such as Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram could have ever expected. Within the past year, we have seen more prevalent political polarization in our country than ever. Technology has only exacerbated heavily debated topics such as COVID-19, Black Lives Matter, and the 2020 election, ultimately leading to the spread of more fake news than real across our country. Throughout the past year at LookUp, I have continuously caught myself teetering back and forth between the optimistic belief that amazing, brilliant and dedicated change-makers will alter our world for the better and the pessimistic fear that we are too far down the rabbit hole for community-based work to create widespread societal change.
When I first joined LookUp, I took on this role thinking of it only as an internship. I thought it would be a great way to fill my summer days in quarantine and learn more about something I was passionate about. But, this has turned into something I never expected; this internship has made a huge impact on how I think and the actions I take on a daily basis. Over the past year I have had the opportunity to meet, listen to, speak with, and work alongside incredibly passionate, brilliant, and empowering groups of youth advocates and adult allies that deeply inspire me. I have a space where I feel like my voice is heard and valued, something that is not common as an intern still in college. I constantly find myself amazed by the work some of these change-makers are doing, especially at such a young age. It has been inspiring to see a generation that is faced with tremendous societal challenges as a result of previous generations’ shortcomings collaborate to create tangible, real change.
Reflecting back onto my first few months at LookUp, I could never have anticipated the community this internship has given me. Within a short few months, I felt as if LookUp turned into a family, thanks to Susan and Julie’s vigorous efforts. This family has changed the way that I think, the actions I take, and the future I envision for myself. I am so grateful to have been part of an organization that ignited a spark in my life and serves as a beacon of hope and innovation for so many others during a time that can feel full of darkness. Because of this internship with LookUp, I am heading into college graduation and my first chapter of real adulthood inspired, empowered, and steadfast in my belief that I am part of the generation that will change the trajectory of our society for good.
